Message from An Autism Mom: Never Give Up | Christa Dowdy Law | LifeStyle Blogger | Lexington, Kentucky

I never know what will inspire a blog post. This was inspired by a Facebook Memory. 6 years ago I posted a video of me and Cade, sometime in the wee hours of the night, only showing the light from the living room window coming from a street light, and all you could hear was his little voice. My 4 year old autistic sweet boy singing “if you’re happy and you know it” but there were no words. Only the “sounds” of the words. Sure I could understand him. He was my son. When I played it for my co-worker she gave me a blank grin until I told her what the song was and then, yes! Of course she recognized the tune! And 6 years later he can sing every word to every Johnny Cash song, in pitch.

How far we have come. It’s reminders like these that fill my heart with pride and contentment. That maybe everything is coming together. That all of the work and effort and sleepless nights and worry and baby steps were all worth it. And every one saying “he will get there, don’t worry, everyone is different… they were right. Now he’s in fifth grade.  Now he has friends and peers that understand him and want to help him and play with him and be WITH him.

I’ve grown too though, as a mom. As a person. I’ve had to. When handed the diagnosis, I had no idea what I’d be dealing with. Meltdowns and frustration in the beginning. A lot of behavior issues. Therapy and questions. So many questions. But I have learned so much and so many people have helped me. Guided me. Let me cry on their shoulders. LITERALLY.

The biggest things with my son I’ve learned: To talk to him. His output might be jumbled sometimes. He might not be able to always express himself appropriately but he has always seemed to be able to understand if I could get his undivided attention. And I know that not all kids are the same but all kids with autism are in there. There is some way to connect. And whether you know they are listening to you or not, talk to them. For Cade, I always talked to him like he was an adult. Like he was my best friend. And he always was. He was my side kick. My little buddy. Once I realized that “transitions” were difficult for him, I recognized that he simply needed to understand what was going to happen. He needed an explanation. Sometimes it had to be said several times. Sometimes in different ways. But that was key!

Something else I really grasped onto early and tried to remember daily is the emotional side of my kiddo and just how MY emotions affect him. When I’m sad or upset, he picks up on that so quickly. And being a single mom, those emotions come. It’s just part of life. So I had to start to focus on myself, to make myself better so that I could make HIM better. Because as I developed my own happiness, I saw his happiness bloom. Now I focus on positivity and it has transformed not only my life, but our home, Cade’s interaction with me and hopefully his happiness.

I would be lying if I told you I’ve never gone to bed crying, with worry that this day would never come, that I could never see him at THIS point. And I would be lying if I told you that I don’t still worry about his future and if his progress will continue or how his future will play out. All I can tell you is that I don’t give up and neither should you! Because our kiddos are special and every day is a new day and every day could hold a miracle! Never give up on what you are doing. Never give up on the strength of your child and the strength of your own.

Summer Wrap-up | Christa Dowdy Law | LifeStyle Blogger | Lexington KY

The End of summer is here. It’s August and I feel like this is the month that signals things like back-to-school, fall weather and the acceptance of all things pumpkin. (Accept it friends, it’s coming) I don’t know about Cade but I doubt that this summer will go down in history as my best summer ever. For me it started out painfully. June seemed to last 3 months and then July was difficult in it’s own way. For Cade, I hope that he somewhat enjoyed his summer. Days at grandparents. Hours in the pool. Mornings at summer school with his favorite teacher (even though she might not think so).

For me the summer started with a little accident that earned me a nice, 2 or 3 inch scar down my wrist, a metal plate and 6 screws, all of which cost more than anything I currently own. Falling backwards for no real reason isn’t exactly embarrassing, but it is something that you just have to own. Do I wish that I had a more exciting story to tell? Yes. Maybe that I fell while trying to save Cade from a rabid squirrel? (That just came to mind) Anything would be better than – I lost my balance when I was backing up trying to get a wider angle taking pictures. Someone give me a cookie.

Did I mention this happened on my mom’s birthday? Yeah. Happy Birthday mom. But the good news is, we got to spend some really great quality time together that night and for the next 4 weeks. I kind of miss her now that she’s gone home.

But that day could not have been more beautiful. The sky and the drive “home” was gorgeous. I even snapped a photo of my favorite spot on the interstate looking towards the hills of Eastern Kentucky as I approached. It was going to be a long day.

I had no idea that in 12 hours I’d be laying in a hospital bed with my hand swelled triple. It’s amazing what morphine does for you though. And just look at that makeup! Really held up 🙂

Fell around 7:00 p.m. To the ER in Lexington around 9:00 p.m. And home by 6:00 a.m. What a whirlwind. And the next week wouldn’t be any better. Waiting for surgery was an eternity. I missed my little boy. He spent a lot of time with his papaw and would come visit me. It was so hard for him to see me just sitting there unable to really do anything. I was so heavily medicated because of the pain and nauseous and weak, he didn’t understand. I was part of his routine. I WAS his routine. And suddenly everything was different.

Our entire summer was turned upside down after that. I had surgery a few days later. Cade never knew where he was staying, who was taking him to summer school. My mom stayed with us for almost a month (which me and Cade both loved) and I didn’t drive at all. When I did start driving I could only use one hand and that made things difficult. It took me weeks to realize that not everyone was out to hit me. I was so paranoid of getting hit or falling or getting hurt again.

I am just so thankful for all of the support that we had through it all. I have never felt so much pain. At one point after the surgery, when my pain block began to wear off, I literally wanted to cut my own arm off. My dad was with me and I think he honestly couldn’t stand to see me in that much pain. I know he couldn’t. He left the room. And I don’t blame him. I wanted to die. Cade was afraid of me with my arm in a cast. I know he worried about why mommy had a giant bandage on her arm. The kid worries himself to death when he has a bandaid on his own arm. He thinks we use scissors to take them off.

After surgery I spent a lot of time back “home” and a lot of time sleeping.

It was relaxing to be there where I could just relax and Cade could be outside and with papaw and still see me in a semi-normal environment. It was the best part of the summer for me, even in the cast, even without any privacy, not being able to dress myself or take a shower without putting a garbage bag over half of my body. It was time spent with my parents and my son that I hadn’t had and it was time spent in thought and meditation and prayer and thankfulness.

Cade was able to attend summer school this summer. We called it “summer camp” just to make it sound more fun. Whether that worked or not is anybody’s guess. But he did get to meet a pig, Waffles, who Cade called sausage, and he got to spend a majority of the summer with his favorite teacher.

He swam in the pool at the YMCA. He played with his caretaker, Tori and her twins. Went to all of his favorite places. I think he had a pretty good summer. Once momma was able to get back to routine, things started looking brighter for him. He realized that the dark clouds weren’t forever, things would go back to normal again.

I realized that too. It’s a tough lesson to learn sometimes. I will be in physical therapy for the foreseeable future. My wrist is super stiff. We are hoping to get my full mobility back in 6 months. Right now it’s very painful but so much better then it was in June! But this too shall pass. And soon it will be pumpkin spice time.

Except for me.

I’m doing Keto.

The Sweetheart Maven | Christa Dowdy Law | Beauty and Lifestyle Blogger | Lexington, KY

If I could sum up my description for this blog in a short and concise sentence, I think it would be… A blog featuring the most amazing professional skincare and cosmetic line in over 50 years, with sprinkles of wit, wisdom and storytelling from a single mom who is raising a beautiful boy with autism and on many occasions refers to herself as “Mama Bear”. Yep, I think that’s a pretty good description!

To get started, The Sweetheart Maven isn’t official… yet. It’s a name that I have been using on my Pinterest page for some time and it seems to be gathering quite a following. I have purchased the web address. It’s just a matter of making that official transition. But this is my first step, leaking it to my network. So here it is… drip drip.

Why Sweetheart Maven? Well first of all, I’m a little southern and if you’re lucky, I’ve called you sweetheart at least once or twice. And the definition of maven is “expert” or “connoisseur” and I happen to be a self proclaimed expert and connoisseur in many things! (Haha) This should be fun.

I have had difficulties in the past keeping blogs current but I believe they were too “niche” centered. And yes, LimeLife will be a huge part of this blog. But it won’t just be about LimeLife. I have been building my brand for the past year and I plan to explore all areas in writing – one of my favorite outlets.

So here goes nothing!

Welcome to my new blog, my new identity… The Sweetheart Maven.